Micro Surf and Turf
25 May 2012 Leave a Comment
I wanted to make a bed for my micro greens to drain into, so at low tide I hiked through the water to the shelly part of Shell Beach, where the seals lounge and munch on sea biscuits. I came home with an assortment of tiny rocks, bits of shells and broken glass. I first rinsed my bounty, then boiled until my house smelled briney and the water was gross and brown. The soil, which was smooth only days ago is now rumpled with upstarts of new life.
via PicsArt Photo Studio
Unit D
23 May 2012 Leave a Comment
This is my beautiful and virtually unusable front door. I love it. I leave it closed for the pain it is to latch again after it has been opened.
I am finding it difficult to know where to begin “updating my blog”. So I’m starting with my front door and my little apartment. It truly has become a haven for me, and it is becoming a place where I can share life with friends…slowly. Gracious friends tell me it takes a while to get settled and God keeps telling me its closer than I know…just like me. My house is closer to presentable, and I am closer to I-don’t-know-what, but glory it feels good to be close.
I decided to get a masters degree in speech language pathology. It sort of fits with things I have been saying for years…
“My life is about helping people find their voices. Whether that is in art, music, writing, or whatever, I like to help people find their voices.”
“Some people are called to a ministry and some people are called to a people group. I am called to people so lost inside themselves they will never find their way out on their own.”
And for the last seven months, “I’m concerned about ______.” “That’s a speech/language goal.”
So…speech/language it is.
Unit D
23 May 2012 Leave a Comment
This is my beautiful and virtually unusable front door. I love it. I leave it closed for the pain it is to latch again after it has been opened.
I am finding it difficult to know where to begin “updating my blog”. So I’m starting with my front door and my little apartment. It truly has become a haven for me, and it is becoming a place where I can share life with friends…slowly. Gracious friends tell me it takes a while to get settled and God keeps telling me its closer than I know…just like me. My house is closer to presentable, and I am closer to I-don’t-know-what, but glory it feels good to be close.
I decided to get a masters degree in speech language pathology. It sort of fits with things I have been saying for years…
“My life is about helping people find their voices. Whether that is in art, music, writing, or whatever, I like to help people find their voices.”
“Some people are called to a ministry and some people are called to a people group. I am called to people so lost inside themselves they will never find their way out on their own.”
And for the last seven months, “I’m concerned about ______.” “That’s a speech/language goal.”
So…speech/language it is.
I’m studying for the GRE. Little did I know that my library has the study guides. I was prepping last week for teaching and walked past the section. It was like a gift from God. So I read a little every night, study my words and practice. Its really encouraging.
This school year has challenged me in ways I didn’t expect. I have had to grow up, especially these last couple weeks as I was the substitute. I have, thankfully, given that task over to my coworker and friend, who is doing a lovely job. my friend Julia used to tell me that we all grow up all the time. I am seeing and appreciating how right she was.
I also started Spanish. No time like the present. My tomato has two little fruit on it, my cilantro is already sprouting, and I successfully transplanted carrots. Its my fist garden, right out my back door. With the spring weather I can keep the windows open at night and smell the orange tree in my neighbors yard. It has truly become a safe place for me, and I am looking forward to summer…and fresh tomatoes…in Unit D.
Saturdays at Andrini’s
05 May 2012 1 Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Life Happenings
My weekly pilgrimage to Andrini’s started because I needed internet. And community. I slung my 7 pound computer onto my back and trekked to the local coffee shop. I wandered through the farmer’s market as they were setting up. I paid my bills and then found some conversations I wanted to join online. I ran into people I knew. I came back the next week. And the week after that. And the week after that. Last week I finally brought money for farmer’s market and brought home copious amounts of basil, among other things. Thank you SLO Grown Produce for the pesto sale.
I have a new genius phone that keeps me connected at home, but I still come. I’m in search of community. I have a tendency to want to hide in my house, but I dream of sitting around coffee (or beer) and talking about the things that matter. Big thoughts and ideas, sometimes I wonder how to make it happen, sometimes I wonder if I’m ready or if I’d like to keep my ideas in the safety of print. Every Saturday, I just keep coming. Wanna come?
Explicative
15 Apr 2012 2 Comments
There have been a few times in my life that I have felt the precision of God as He narrows His focus on an area of my life where I’d rather do it my own way thankyouverymuch. The three times I can remember it is my self protection, where I would rather shut the whole world out than risk…well…anything. Some of you will now pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, but I think if we are honest we all have times and places we would rather live an illusion than risk the rejection or injury of what is truest and best about us. Fullness of life, however, comes when we are willing to be known and a core essential of the Christian faith, of my faith, is honesty. If we are to follow Christ we are to be known by both God and man. I invite Jesus to peel back the mask, but when He puts His finger on my useless pandering my response is simply “explicative.”
This morning as my friend Jeremy was preaching I managed not to curse out loud. Apparently to be released from anger we must let go of our need to control, including but not limited to pulling away in isolation. Explicative. I don’t know if Jeremy asked or if I just wondered what I am holding on to that I need to let go of, but the Lord began to put His finger on some very specific and personal things I am holding in a grip so tight that my neck and back literally have hurt all week. I know there is freedom in the letting go, and I know there will be no escaping this one. God has my number and my permission.
I know you all want to join in the fun, so I will post the link when the sermon is up on the Father’s House website later this week. It was a penetrating message, and I and I am both hopeful and nervous to see what God will do.
Questions and Answers
24 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: forgiveness, musings
I love gmail. They should pay me to say that, but they do not. I love them all the same. And one reason is that I do not delete my email. It is all there, in the analogues of time, waiting for me to search. And so it was today, when I was looking for something completely different, that I found a quote from 2007,
“I think there is an important distinction between wanting questions answered, wanting answers, and wanting someone to answer.”
Wanting questions answered…
To me, this deals with the details of an event. What happened, when, who was involved. It can also deal with some of what people were thinking, what specifically motivated their actions, what their hope was in the choices they made.
Wanting answers…
I think that when you want answers, you are predominantly dealing with the question of why. People may not be able to answer to your satisfaction…in fact probably will not be able to answer to your satisfaction. I try to address this mostly to God, because He will know what I’m really asking…and He will be able to satisfy my heart like no one else can…even if it is like He answered Job.
In the book of Job, after Job has lost everything and finally turned to God wanting answers, God answers from a whirlwind, with questions of His own, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the world?” It is one of my favorite sections of the Bible, in which God basically puts the smack down. Still, I believe it is a merciful and loving reply, because in that place of wanting answers, often the things we think we want are not the things we need.
Wanting someone to answer…
This may be the most difficult position, because no person can fully meet this desire. None of us can redeem ourselves. It is what set’s Christianity apart from every other religion…in every other religion, people try to make up for their faults. But in Christianity, we can only fall into the arms of grace. The same grace that flows down from the cross to forgive us from the things we’ve done and heal us from the things done to us is the same grace that forgives those who have hurt us. So when we want someone to answer, we will always come up empty handed until we take that desire to the Cross, where Jesus answered for us all, for all we have done, for all that has been done contrary to His love. Somehow, someway, Jesus makes up the difference. He has to. Because those others, the ones we want to answer for what they’ve done…they can’t afford to pay.
Christmas Challenge: Day 1
11 Dec 2011 3 Comments
The incarnation, to me, holds more wonder than the cross. Don’t get me wrong. I do not mean to take away from the cross at all. It is, in fact, rooted in the incarnation, and the two are inseparable. The thing that gets me is that God changed His form for eternity when He became a boy and then a man. He chose our weakness, and so changed what it means to be human. He made Himself small enough to fit inside our skin, walk through our dirt and all the yuck that comes with being human.
This Christmas comes at a time when most people find themselves in the middle of loss, heartache, financial strain, and confusion. For some, tinsel trees and twinkling lights only seem to drive the pain a little deeper. We are trying to stir up some semblance of Joy to the World and find ourselves woefully short of jolly. Here is the place where we are most, not least, like Christmas. The incarnation came to a world that was dark, where God had been silent for some 400 years, where hope seemed pointless.
And yet in the Christmas story, we find people waiting, hoping beyond hope, looking for Messiah. I want to challenge you to look at the story again. Find yourself in the story. I will be retelling the story here, looking at each of the characters in their waiting. First I want to ask you to consider, where are you waiting for God to become real, to meet you in the mess, to shine light in your darkness? Where do you need Heaven to invade Earth?
