T R A N S F O R M A T I O N

Happy Friday!  Today is Fun Day Friday…hopefully I will have pictures for you from our awkward 80’s day.  🙂

The DTS students are fun and hilarious.  I can see how God is growing each one of them, so differently and yet so profound.  It is fun to be on the leadership side of a school, looking for Him as things take shape.  Each of my roles gives me a little window into these magnificent young souls.

The kitchen has had a bit of a rocky start as I figure out what is required of me and then how to delegate, when to delegate, and what to delegate.  The hardest part, though, is that I have to know what needs to be done before I can delegate!  Jesus is teaching me interdependence in just about every area of my life, and this can be seen tangibly in the DTS kitchen.  While figuring out the food prep side of things has been tricky, relationships have been forming and growing in the kitchen…so my goal to feed their hearts as well as their tummies is working out quite nicely.

My small group is made up of three lovely individuals.  As with many of our students, these three are called to leadership specifically in ministry.  Each of them comes with a strong foundation, but I feel that God wants to take them to the next level in knowledge, understanding, and compassion.  They desire to be challenged.  Please pray for me as I seek God’s heart and will for them as their leader.

God has been reminding me of all the things I have learned in the last 10-20 years.  It is easy to forget that I have so many resources within me.  This last year of my life has been so transformational, and yet my students need all of me, all that I am, all the paths I have walked.  A silly example of this is today for Fun Day…I am in charge of coming up with games to play.  I was laying awake last night, thinking to myself, “Eek!  Egad!  I didn’t plan any games.  I should have looked some crazy games up online.  I bet if I did a google search…”  God interrupts, “How about Improv. games?”  Suddenly I remember all of the games I have learned and lead over the last 15 years.  “Oh, yeah, there is a wealth of information and experience within me.  I have been equipped for every task God has for me.”  I need to remember.  It’s good to remember.

Cocooning  The DTS season has been way more intense than I anticipated.  My church began 2010 with a 21 day Daniel fast, and this fast set things in motion within me, a season which is best defined by the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly.  Check out this article  on About.com and scroll down to the Pupa Stage.  Things I noticed…the chrysalides looks like it is resting, but there is a LOT going on inside.  The little caterpillar, which spent most of it’s life eating, is now fasting (like me).  Stillness is important to transformation (Be still and know that I AM God…).  God activates something within the caterpillar, something amazing that was always there, and this initiates the destruction of the caterpillar’s old body (my flesh is dying and being destroyed).  The entire body of the caterpillar is destroyed.  This process has two names…programmed cell death or histogenesis, (histo=tissue; genesis=beginning).  It is an end and a beginning.  I asked God when this season will be over.  I believe He said, “You will know.”  🙂  Just like the butterfly, I will rest here until some change in light or some change within, calls me on.  I hope it’s before we leave on Outreach.


Our outreach locations will be: Nigeria and Russia!  The entire staff got to pray with the students, and there may be another location for the Russia team.  I will be assisting Paulina, who is leading the Nigeria outreach.  I am sooooooooooooo excited.  I will try to post Loren Cunningham’s talk from the One Thing conference later this week.


Be blessed, my friends!

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Longing, Aching for Him

Song of Solomon 5:2-6


I slept, but my heart was awake.
A sound!  My beloved is knocking.
“Open to me, my sister, my love, 
my dove, my perfect one,
for my head is wet with dew,
my locks with the drops of the night.”
I had put off my garment;
how could I put it on?
I had bathed my feet;
how could I soil them?
My beloved put his hand to the latch,
and my heart was thrilled within me.
I arose to open to my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with liquid myrrh,
on the handles of the bolt.
I opened to my beloved,
but my beloved had turned and gone.
My soul failed me when he spoke.
I sought him, but found him not;
I called him, but he gave no answer.”


I am like the bride, awakened in the night at the sound of her beloved, longing for Him.


When I was in Kansas City during the One Thing conference with International House of Prayer, I experienced the presence of God like I never have in my whole life.  It is not to strong to say that I am addicted to His presence.  I find myself back in California, longing for Him, aching for Him.  The Holy Spirit did monumental, life changing things in me the last week of 2009, and yet here I am in 2010 realizing that this was only a taste, only a glimmer, only a knock on the door of all that Jesus can do in and through me.  I am longing, aching for Him.  My church is in the third week of a 21 day Daniel fast (No, Daniel wasn’t fasting per se…but we base our fast on his diet in Daniel 1).  We are fasting to go deeper in prayer and outreach in 2010.  I am fasting because I miss His presence, because I long for Him.  I ache for Him.  Matthew 9:15 says, “And Jesus said to them, “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast…”  I am the friend of the Bridegroom, fasting to know the love of the Father, fasting for more of the Holy Spirit, fasting for Jesus return.

DTS…week one

The new students are here.  It has been an intense week.  The students are amazing individuals.  I am remembering back to my first week of DTS…begging God to hold me together as my life took on new shape, trying to find how I fit in this new world and how my new world fit in me. 

I find myself back in Colossians this week, “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities–all things were created through him and for him.  And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” (1:15-17)

I am reminded that He is big enough to hold all these lovely students together, to hold my heart, to hold this school and all the dreams He has for us.  He is Holy, and we can trust Him.