Longing, Aching for Him

Song of Solomon 5:2-6

I slept, but my heart was awake.
A sound!  My beloved is knocking.
“Open to me, my sister, my love, 
my dove, my perfect one,
for my head is wet with dew,
my locks with the drops of the night.”
I had put off my garment;
how could I put it on?
I had bathed my feet;
how could I soil them?
My beloved put his hand to the latch,
and my heart was thrilled within me.
I arose to open to my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with liquid myrrh,
on the handles of the bolt.
I opened to my beloved,
but my beloved had turned and gone.
My soul failed me when he spoke.
I sought him, but found him not;
I called him, but he gave no answer.”

I am like the bride, awakened in the night at the sound of her beloved, longing for Him.

When I was in Kansas City during the One Thing conference with International House of Prayer, I experienced the presence of God like I never have in my whole life.  It is not to strong to say that I am addicted to His presence.  I find myself back in California, longing for Him, aching for Him.  The Holy Spirit did monumental, life changing things in me the last week of 2009, and yet here I am in 2010 realizing that this was only a taste, only a glimmer, only a knock on the door of all that Jesus can do in and through me.  I am longing, aching for Him.  My church is in the third week of a 21 day Daniel fast (No, Daniel wasn’t fasting per se…but we base our fast on his diet in Daniel 1).  We are fasting to go deeper in prayer and outreach in 2010.  I am fasting because I miss His presence, because I long for Him.  I ache for Him.  Matthew 9:15 says, “And Jesus said to them, “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast…”  I am the friend of the Bridegroom, fasting to know the love of the Father, fasting for more of the Holy Spirit, fasting for Jesus return.